Depression and Anxiety – information for partners and carers
Living with someone who is depressed or highly anxious can be very stressful. Here's a quick guide to help you:
"Crippling depression and chronic anxiety are the biggest causes of misery in Britain today. They are the great submerged problem, which shame keeps out of sight. But if you mention them, you soon discover how many families are affected. According to the respected Psychiatric Morbidity Survey, one in six of us would be diagnosed as having depression or chronic anxiety disorder, which means that one family in three is affected. Professor Lord Richard Layard The Depression Report - A New Deal for Depression and Anxiety Disorders
Depression and anxiety often occur together, and some of the symptoms are similar. But one of the key differences is that depression is to do with helplessness and hopelessness, and a general ‘shrinking inwards’. The person’s outlook and horizons shrink in until there is a black hopeless and helpless core in the middle. Whereas severe anxiety is about fear of the future, and what might or might not happen. Generally the individual will mentally search for future possible threats to themselves, and worry about the consequences.
A person who is depressed or highly anxious cannot just ‘snap out of it’.
Information about Depression
For many people, living with depression is a fact of life. It is not a new condition – it has been around for thousands of years, as have various theories about why it occurs and how to deal with it. We now have masses of research and scientific evidence about it’s different forms and variants, such as Clinical Depression, Bipolar Disorder (manic depression), Post Natal Depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder, and also about associated conditions such as Anxiety. Much of this is readily available on the internet.
A person who is depressed is likely to experience some of these symptoms: feeling tired with no energy, persistently sad and low, loss of confidence and self esteem, having a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, avoiding things they enjoy - especially if these involve other people, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping, feeling guilty or worthless, frightened or anxious, loosing interest in food, or sex, eating for comfort, aches and pains, or other physical symptoms too.
Living with, or caring for someone who is depressed can be incredibly stressful. You may experience a sense of loss and bewilderment. You may feel angry and resentful, and hurt. Your life may not have changed in other respects, but your relationship with the depressed person will be different – and that feels scary. So whilst coming to terms with the emotional roller-coaster that you find yourself on, you have to cope with the unhelpful behaviour and demands of the depressed person, as well as dealing with your own often busy life. You need to look after yourself, or you may become depressed too.
Listen to Caroline talking with others about living with a partner who is depressed on Woman’s Hour BBC radio 4
Information about Anxiety
General anxiety is when a person feels abnormally tense, worried and apprehensive about lots of different things, even when there is no need to be. Someone is diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder when the symptoms they experience start to affect their day to day life. They may experience a range of alarming physical symptoms, to the extent that they are certain there is something medically wrong, and, though it may not appear obvious, they may be anxious and worried much of the time. A person with a high level of anxiety, or an anxiety disorder worries about what might or might not happen, and how they could be affected in a negative way.
The following are some of the most common symptoms that a person might experience if their levels of stress and anxiety are at an unusually high level, or if they have an anxiety disorder. (There are however, many more): feeling on edge and tense, very fast or very slow heart beat, blocked throat, feeling sick, feeling as if they could faint, stomach churning, pins and needles, fast breathing, feeling that they can’t breathe, feeling as if they are detached and separate from everyone and everything, stomach churning, rashes and spots, churning things over and over in their mind, constantly worrying about what might or might not happen, and how they could be affected in a negative way.
Although the person may be convinced that there is something medically wrong, or that they are mentally ill, this is much more likely to be the result of an overworked nervous system. Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Agoraphobia, Phobias, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are all categories of anxiety disorder. Often more than one type of anxiety disorder exists together. And of course a person can be depressed at the same time as well.
Without a doubt, the experience of an anxiety disorder can be utterly terrifying. Caroline Carr has both personal and professional experience of anxiety, so she understands how it can blight a person’s life. Being around someone who has an anxiety disorder is really tough too. You so want to help that person, but you can feel completely powerless as you watch them battling with their fears.
If you know someone who has an anxiety disorder, help them by learning about it and supporting them through it. You may find their behaviour bewildering and exasperating. But they cannot just snap out of it, and they would usually give anything to feel better.
If you are close to the person, you may find that no matter how much you help and support them, their behaviour and their worry wears you down. Many people find themselves in this position, so make sure you get some support for yourself, because you are not alone.
Read Caroline’s article on anxiety in Positive Health Online
Go to my latest news page to read a range of articles from the media on depression and anxiety. Click here
Richard Layard heads the Wellbeing Research Programme at the Centre forEconomic Performance, London School of Economics and Political Science( http://cep.lse.ac.uk ) The Depression Report was published online in June 2006 by the Centre for Economic Performance. It can be downloaded from: The Depression Report