Exhausted, Frustrated Or Bored? It’s Time To Boost Your Personal Power.
Keeping your personal power topped up is essential in order for you to flourish, and give of your best to those around you.
What is personal power?
I define personal power as a deep recognition of confidence in yourself, your abilities, and what you are and are not prepared to put up with, inner strength, and an ability to say what you want to say without fear. It is a lasting inner quality that keeps you connected to your true self, and therefore aligned with freedom, balance, fun and joy. It’s that sense of aliveness that makes your heart soar and your soul shine.
This amazing quality is always there – albeit in varying quantities. Sometimes it gets eclipsed by other things in life, and sometimes to the extent that it’s squashed - and you feel that it’s not present at all. And if it’s been deeply buried inside you for some time, you may not even know that you ever had it. You need your full quota though – that is if you want to function at your very best, and live the most fulfilling and joyful life possible.
Here are 6 sure signs that your personal power could do with a boost:
1. You’re exhausted, looking after everybody else.
You’re experiencing that awful drained, empty, exhausted thing, where you just feel (to put it bluntly) knackered.
You keep on going and manage to do what you need to do, but you’re so damn tired. You might put on a pretty good show for everyone else, but inside you feel all used up and washed out.
You’d love to take a nap, or feel able to take some time out and not have to think about all the stuff you need to do. And just for once, not to have to deal with everyone else’s demands and issues. There’s ALWAYS stuff that needs to be done – meals to be prepared, shopping, laundry etc, on top of everything else. It’s as if everyone wants a little piece of you.
Sometimes you wonder where YOU have gone – the real essence of who you really are, that part of you that longs to be free and full of joy and sparkle and energy and fun.
2. You feel helpless in various ways.
You feel that you don’t have much control over certain areas of your life, so you just put up with them. Often you give in to others quite easily because it’s easier for you to do this – even though you may not agree with them. You don’t feel able to speak up for yourself , and you tend to think that things just happen to you or are done to you, and you don’t have much control. Sometimes you feel angry about this, but you keep it to yourself mainly.
3. You overwork and overthink.
You’re busy busy busy all the time - achieving and doing, and meeting targets and organising, and filling your diary more and more because there’s so much to do! In fact, you’ve lost the leave time due from last year that was supposed to be carried over as it’s too late now, and you probably won’t take your full quota this year as you need to get things done.
After all, you’re the only one who can do what you have to do to the standard required, so you’ll just have to make sure it gets done, so you’ll probably stay late tonight, or take some work home. And then there’s the social engagements and going to the gym and filling your weekends and…
Hang on a minute - what happens when you actually have some space? Perhaps even a day off with nothing planned? What are you going to DO for goodness sake! Suddenly, you realise you’re at a complete loss, so you don’t really do anything because everything seems out of kilter - you have ‘FREE TIME’.
Someone suggested you learn to relax and take it easy! WHAT? You haven’t got time for that and anyway you don’t want to, because you like to be busy. And you’ve got bags of energy sometimes – almost too much! But you don’t sleep well – well, you do for a couple of hours and then BANG! You’re awake again.
You tried Yoga. It was ok except the bit at the end where you have to relax, and as you couldn’t keep still and your mind was on other things all the time – you stopped going. Mindfulness drives you nuts – you tried it once and couldn’t concentrate, and anyway you haven’t got time for all that woo stuff. You can’t wait to get back to work again, or at least to have something planned.
But sometimes you really do feel very tired…
4. You feel bored, and stuck in a rut.
You’re not particularly loving your life or your work – it’s ok, but it could be a lot better. Maybe you complain about it to others, and join in with their ‘moan-fests’ sometimes.
At least work pays the bills, but you feel inside that something’s missing, and time seems to be slipping by. After all, you’re not getting any younger. Sometimes you just wish you could have something different, something more. But what? And how? Before you know it, yet another year has rolled by…
5. You know that you have an inner block that ‘stops you doing’ what you want to do.
You might not know exactly what this block is though. It’s likely to be a fear – a pattern of thoughts and feelings that are triggered in certain situations. For example, you may lack confidence in yourself or your ability to do something. Perhaps you worry that in certain situations others will judge you in a negative way, and you’re not sure how you would cope with that. So whatever it is, you don't do it if you can possibly help it.
Or you might have a specific phobia (an irrational fear) of something, so you avoid whatever that is at all costs.
6. You are basically unhappy.
Your thoughts are often negative and maybe your home life and/or your relationship is a mess. At least it feels that way to you. You’re harbouring a deep-seated resentment and also feelings of guilt. Your life just hasn’t turned out as you’d hoped, and you often think “If only…” and “I wish…”
But NOW you’re realising that your life doesn’t have to be this way, and you want to do something about it.
So, what can you do to increase your personal power?
Well there are loads of things, and subsequent articles in this hub will explore some of them.
Working with a coach or mentor for a while is my top choice, as you’ll gain amazing insights and are likely to move forward quickly – providing you’ve picked someone you trust, who you feel you can work with easily. But it may be that you feel some counselling is the thing for you right now. There's a time and place for everything, and I think you'll know what's right for you as you explore the options.
The overall aim is to reconnect yourself with YOU. And then everything improves because you are aligned with a sense of freedom, balance, energy, enthusiasm, fun and joy. You feel more confident and in control, and whatever is going on around you, you are able to sustain this sense of clarity and presence. Not only that, but others around you benefit, because your energy is positive and light, yet grounded and steady – and that rubs off on others in a positive way.
When you leap into your power you feel inwardly strong and free. And you laugh loads! What could possibly be more wonderful than that?
Find out about Find Your Oomph Coaching with Caroline Carr
© April 22nd 2019 Caroline Carr
After working in the theatre and television for several years, Caroline taught drama, voice and speech in schools and prisons before becoming a life coach and hypnotherapist with a practice in Harley Street. Her personal and professional experience led to her developing a passion for teaching others how to find inner strength, confidence, positivity and joy. Hence she created Find Your Oomph. Caroline is the author of several books on mental health and women's health, and has been featured in the national press and interviewed on radio and TV.
The British Association For Counselling and Psychotherapy: bacp
Image by Jesslef